Till Death do us part
by bonnjie
Summary: Bellatrix and Rita become ghosts within seconds of each other, stuff ensues. Not a oneshot! :D
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One.**

"I hate you." The silver woman with the deep-set eyes and wild, dark hair glared at the other silver woman standing beside her, light silver hair almost glittering. Both of them appeared younger than they had when they died, the change doing wonders for the ghost of Rita Skeeter, while the ghost of Bellatrix Lestrange cursed about it. Her Azkaban robes had never looked good on her, while the 30 year old Rita looked marvellous in a nice white shirt and skirt. Bellatrix had old wounds adorning her skin, while Rita had fresh wounds covering everywhere, scars never able to form due to the lack of time.

"Don't push it, Bellatrix." They stood in front of an old castle, older than both of them and most of the ghostly inhabitants. For some reason, the two had both come to haunt this place, leaving the destination of their deaths together, despite a shared hatred that ran deep in their no longer functional veins. They had died seconds apart, Rita's ghost rising first, watching the aurors tiptoe through puddles of her blood and excrement to see if she was still breathing, their attempts to revive her useless. Bellatrix had risen a heartbeat after her, screaming and attempting to curse her murderers, to no avail. They just laughed at the ghost, the shell of a formerly powerful woman, and carried her body off to Mungos.

Rita didn't know why she had stayed with Bellatrix. Maybe it was an odd sense of duty, similar to feeling responsible for someone born on the same birthday. Nevertheless, they had come to this place of learning together, floating through the open door into the Entrance Hall. A few students recognised the pair and ran away, afraid of the wrath of the most feared women in Britain, although they were feared for different reasons. It didn't take long for a collection of ghosts to assemble around the pair, all pondering what to do with them. Whispers of 'they can't stay here' and 'whatever will we do' filled the air, and, almost simultaneously, the women crossed their arms angrily.

"You can't make us go, we're staying here." Rita proclaimed loudly, her eyes on nobody else but Nick. He looked absolutely shocked, the charms she usually placed on herself had gone, and only the raw Rita stood in front of him. Agreeing, Bellatrix nodded, glaring at every ghost she could see.

"Absolutely. We're staying and that is final."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two.**

Bellatrix had been taken to a room in the Slytherin common room beside the Barons rooms, a choice the other ghosts made with apprehension; they did not want a convicted murderer near any of the children, or the Baron. He might get ideas. The Baron had said not one word to her on their way down, it was obvious he did not want to have to give away a room that was formerly his to a silly little woman who wasn't even attractive.

"When I was your age, I murdered my parents." She said to a soft-looking boy sitting on one of the leather chairs, who was turning a shade of white that the Baron thought was amusing. This could be more interesting than he first assumed.

"You never change, Mrs Lestrange." He smirked, opening the door to the one room that the other ghosts had managed to pry from his silver fingers.

"That's Miss Black, to you." She scowled in response, walking through the door and trying to slam it shut, grunting angrily when her hand slipped through.

It hadn't taken long to figure out where Rita would stay. Unlike Bellatrix, who had been shunted around until a hopefully-suitable place was found; Nicholas had put his hand up at once, avoiding the strange looks from Nora, Liza and the Friar. Rita hadn't minded, not at all. He had led her out of the room, waiting for a few minutes before throwing his arms around her, pressing his lips to her face with a desperation that was almost criminal.

"Oh, m'love, why did you have to do it?" Rita didn't understand what she'd done? Bellatrix had ruthlessly put a stopper on her life, and she'd ended up amongst the silver and grey people she had never ceased to be curious about. She shook her head, silver curls bouncing as they did when her hair wasn't bogged down with charms and sprays. A grin spread across her face, the beginning of crow's eyes appearing at the junction where her eyelids met.

"I missed you, Nick. I missed you ever so much."

The remaining ghosts could not believe it. A sociopathic mass murderer and a manipulative, devious gossip had no place in a castle surrounded by impressionable young witches and witches. It was feared that they would force their opinions on the most unstable of the population, leading to various horrible acts that would plunge the school into chaos. A third year listened to the conversation with glee, running off to find Bellatrix the ghost in Slytherin who had sent him to eavesdrop. She would be so pleased with him, so very pleased. Maybe she wouldn't kill him and his immediate family, now that he had helped her.

A frustrated scream echoed from the room where Bellatrix Lestrange was staying in the dungeons of the castle all the way to the turrets, scaring away the birds and making Rita Skeeter jump right off Nearly Headless Nick mid-kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three.**

Rita and Bellatrix were taking turns pushing each other through walls, doors, children and other things just lying about. Nick had suggested it as a way of adjusting to life as a ghost, while Rita and Bellatrix were using it as a stress release. Rita was screaming furiously as she pushed Bellatrix as hard as she could into a fourth year Ravenclaw, while Bellatrix howled in anger as she made Rita fly through the Runes professor.

"BITCH!" Rita screamed as she forced Bellatrix into a statue of armour, following her through the wall, through the middle of a busy classroom, as she finally came to a stop in front of the Baron in a corridor.

"I'LL KILL YOU! AGAIN!" Bellatrix yelled as she kicked Rita away, 'accidentally' holding onto her hair and yanking it, pulling Rita back as if she was some sort of dog. Crossing his arms with a smirk on his face, the Baron couldn't help but nod his head in approval of their activity.

"I could get used to this."

After several hours of kicking, screaming and causing a general disruption all around the castle, Rita and Bellatrix stopped to catch their imaginary breath, nursing their silver bruises and wounds with a sort of calm about them.

"You know, it's no wonder they're going to kick us out." Rita murmured, running a hand through her wild curls.

"Shut up." Bellatrix responded, pulling her arm back into its proper place with a crack.

Bellatrix thought it was strange, this being dead thing. She had held her breath for an entire hour and not blacked out. It was funny, feeling for a pulse on her wrist and nothing being there. Even more so was the fact that she was now in monochrome. Sitting in the room she had been given, she inspected herself in front of a mirror. The thought that she would remain this way forever, stuck eternally in the Azkaban robes which had found their way to her transparent body to haunt her forever, sickened her more than anything. There would be no changes, no little charms to hide the scars from various battles, no elegant robes to show off her lean figure, only her in her Azkaban robes.

"I always thought girls in prison robes looked much more attractive than those in dresses." A voice from behind her called out.

In Gryffindor Tower, watching as Nick read from behind her, his eyes flitting up almost constantly to sneak a very obvious peek at her, Rita couldn't help but feel elated. She was going to live forever, with Nick, there would be no wrinkles, no grey hair (she wasn't quite sure if silver counted), no fashion faux pas, no lying on a deathbed feeling helpless and weak. She would be young forever, young and beautiful with her Nick. Rita could have almost thanked Bellatrix.

It was at that exact moment, when the two were looking into a mirror at the exact same time, that they both realised what had to be done to ensure their relative happiness, and residence in the castle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four.**

It was once said, by a rather wise and studious man (who was later found to be under the influence of several illegal potions), that it would be a snowy morning in Hell when Rita Skeeter and Bellatrix Black would be in the same room without murdering each other. It was never even considered that the two might work together to achieve a common goal, that would be equal to the Dark Lord walking around in a bright pink dress while singing 'Sweet Transvestite' (which actually occurred in the December of 1984, while he was possessing the body of an Albanian actor).

Yet there they were, sitting in the library while innocent seventh years poured over books for them, a knife borrowed from the oh-so-helpful Baron clenched in Bellatrix's hand.

"Good work, getting that knife." Rita exclaimed, a grin on her face expressing to the world how much she thoroughly enjoyed not having to do any of the work herself.

"I'm positively itching to use it." The other ghost replied, watching the students as they began to anxiously turn the pages faster, writing as quickly as humanly possible.

The resident ghosts of the castle had called another of their almost constant secret meetings, out in the grounds of the castle.

"We must expel them by any means possible, even if it means sending a delegation to the Ghosts Council in July!" The Friar called out, many of the other ghosts agreeing.

"I can't stand by and watch innocent minds become corrupted by those two troublemakers!" Flaming Nora shouted, crossing her arms angrily. It was common fact that she had just begun to trust Nick again, until that Rita came along and snatched him out from right under her. Needless to say, Nick stayed quiet.

"I rather like Bellatrix." Baron called out, a smirk on his face. All eyes were on him, it was as if the ghosts were trying to murder him with their eyes.

"You people just have no sense of humour." He huffed, sitting down on the ground with a scowl. Everyone always ganged up on the Baron.

A sickeningly sweet voice from outside the small circle the ghosts had made called out, and the angry eyes of the small congregation turned to see two ghosts, one in a striped, ragged prison robe and the other in a shirt and skirt, both with their arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

"Rita, I think we should go and have sex in the Great Hall, it's almost lunchtime, you know. I can see we're not wanted here. "

"Yes, Bellatrix, I completely agree."

The two linked arms, floating off together with their noses in the air. Coughing awkwardly, the Baron stood up and tugged on his shirt collar, straightening out his jacket.

"If you don't mind me, I have an urgent engagement at the Great Hall."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five.**

The two ghosts stalked off angrily, arm in arm, towards the castle. Rita had a look on her face that could only suggest to the vile things she was thinking in her head, while Bellatrix was growling curses under her breath with a glare.

"We don't care what they think." Bellatrix said, pushing her nose up in the air and floating with her back straight, in an almost regal fashion.

"No, they're just silly ghosts." Rita replied, "Besides, everyone knows that the Friar just wants us to go because he can't control his urges anymore." She was in a rumour spreading mood; a vindictive, vile mood that usually powered her more scandalous articles.

"Who cares about what a bunch of old bastards think, anyway?" Bellatrix wanted to kill something. She didn't know why she cared about the opinions of those things, but she did. She was getting used to Hogwarts, even if it was a rather idiotic place to spend the rest of eternity. She had power here. The children were dead scared of her. She could torment as many people as possible. If those cranky old farts wanted to kick her out, she would go down kicking and screaming. She saw the Baron shoot past, heading for the castle with an urgency that she could only compare top the urgency of leaving the scene after a murder or a particularly harsh torture.

"I have a plan." She said, leaning over to whisper in Rita's ear.

"Ooh, I like the sound of this."

The castle clocktower struck midnight, and Bellatrix stalked up to the Great Hall, the Baron in tow. It wasn't hard to convince him to play along, especially when she had flirted ever so slightly. Men were meant to be used, she thought to herself as she saw the silver silhouette of Rita standing up by a wall, Peeves floating up in the air with a mischievous cackle.

"Peeves!" The Baron growled, and the poltergeist flew straight down to his feet, muttering something about 'little jokes' and 'innocent'. Bellatrix smirked, watching as Rita casually floated over, a smirk over her face.

"Right, we'll split up into groups. Rita, you go to the Slytherin dormitories. Baron, you get Hufflepuff. Peeves, you've got Gryffindor. I'll take Ravenclaw." She knew exactly what they were going to do, and watched as they all floated off towards their areas. Stalking off towards Ravenclaw, she cracked something that could have resembled a somewhat devious smile.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" The Friar held a letter in his hand, completely unaware that both his hands were staining a dark silver, and that he was getting streaks of silver across his cassock. He sat down, waiting patiently. The person that had owled him seemed desperate for his advice, and so he would wait. They would show up, eventually.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry this took forever, I had exams and stuff going on! Enjoy.**

** ---**

Screams echoed through the castle, waking Nearly Headless Nick and Rita Skeeter from their peaceful slumber. Nick, having slept like a log for a good part of the night due to the affections of Rita, hadn't noticed her slip out of the room and return a few hours later. They both raced out of bed, searching around and picking up their clothes from various places around the room before heading down to Gryffindor common room. Students ran around, covered in blood that didn't appear to come from any visible wounds, unable to wipe it off. Rita held back a devious grin, trying to look concerned as Nick tried to figure out what was going on.

"Rita! What's going on?" He shouted, completely oblivious to the fact that she was rushing through students, making them fall over, purely for effect.

"Well it MUST have been the Friar, he's covered in blood!" Bellatrix shrieked, pointing an elongated finger at the chubby little man who bore a striking similarity to the Baron, all covered in blood.

"My blood is old, everyone knows this. It must be him!" the Bloody Baron joined in the accusations, as the crowd of ghosts began to blame each other for the incident. Dumbledore was still trying to break through the magic, advanced magic, he had said, impossible for any student to complete. The list of suspects was narrowed down to the ghosts and the professors. All signs pointed towards the Fat Friar, covered in fresh silver blood without a clue as to how it got there.

"I did nothing, nothing at all!"

"He's an old coot; look at him trying to defend himself. Dumbledore said it was old magic, he's the oldest ghost out of us!" Rita squealed, her arm around Nicks waist. She was lapping all of this up, and only Bellatrix and the Baron had picked up on it. Rita thrived on chaos, it seemed.

"Hey, I don't think we should be accusing people just yet." Nora tried to bring reason into the group, but she was shot down by Peeves, who was holding his bowler hat in his hands with a smirk on his face.

"Peevsy saw the Friar do it! Friar Liar, pants on fire!" Peeves cackled, watching the group burst out into little arguments. Nora and Liza were shouting at Rita, the Friar was trying to show Bellatrix and the Baron reason. It was the perfect crime, the poltergeist mused as Nora burst out into flames and started trying to set Rita alight.

It was old magic that covered the students and the Friar in blood, most definitely. It also took a certain degree of skill to work the magic without imploding. Ghosts could complete a degree of magic before they became worn out. Rita, who had a researching talent like no other witch of her generation, was able to find the magic that would cause anarchy in the school and the processes that would sustain a ghost long enough to do the magic. Bellatrix, with her ability and skill, was able to simplify the magic so that Peeves could work it without destroying himself. The Baron, with his knowledge of the nooks and crannies of the castle, was able to devise a decent enough map so that they all could find their way to their respective dormitories without any difficulty. Peeves, who was well-known for his ability to tell the truth when it wasn't needed, was the perfect ploy to pin it all on the Baron. The two women had thought their plan out, not too sure how it would ensure their happiness but positive that it would.

Professor Flitwick passed the congregations of ghosts, not too sure how to stop a ghost brawl with only a potato and his wand.


End file.
